The Perfect Gift.

MJ's in my soul. Everything seems to be together to strengthen the bond, her thoughts, her mind, her likes and dislikes , aspirations, her concerns and love. Infact I think I also have some of her rashes or is it Dad's? Now it was about the perfect gift for two of my lovely angels. My daughter Liyana and my daughter in law Syieda. It so happens their birthdays falls one day apart from each other and so everyone seems to want to have some sort of celebration, and a surprise. This was also due to that Syieda being her first birthday to be celebrating with us after her marriage to Fakhri. Liyana always loves birthdays and presents since she was a child and everyone knows that.

You know how Daddy is always the one the least interested to think about having to choose the perfect birthday gift. This time around, Daddy is determined to change. All because of MJ, the iron lady herself. MJ use to say " its not like everyday the occasions of birthdays, and that it is not expensive gifts that are important during birthdays or other special occasions but the thoughts of it. She is right Daddy thought and it may not be an expensive one, but there must always be a present during those special occasions like birthdays. What would it be if MJ were to choose for a perfect birthday gift?

I remembered asking MJ for my wedding lets go to the goldsmith and get a gold ring for the dowry. I wanted to make the ring to be given for the wedding dowry (emas kahwin) including some other presents, however MJ had a different idea. She slip a pendant into my hands and says, "This is my present to you for this joyous occasion" you buy a necklace to make it the gift". Perfect I thought and so for my wedding, the dowry it was the pendant and the gold necklace. I was so touched by MJ's gestures of love through the gift of the gold pendant, I told MJ, this is just too much for me. and she says "it is not mine it is all Allah's, just take it" and so to make a gift the perfect gift MJ's Pendant it was with the necklace.I shed some tears because I find true sincerity in her.

So what would be the perfect gift for the birtday girls? You guess right, a pendant it was for two of my lovely angels. Syieda and Liyana. Thank you MJ, and like I always say you are my inspiration and you never fail to ease my mind and provide me with the comfort and confidence to go forward in my life and to make things happen for me with my own life and my family. I love you again and again MJ. Thank you and thank you again. You will always be in my heart. Though you did not mention it I know that you are happy too, had you been here with me to celebrate this special occasion.

To Liyana and Syieda, I want both of you to know how much we all love you and so does MJ had she been here, she would have loved to hand it herself to you a special gift like the pendant. MJ lives in isolation and she obviously cant be here and you know it too. Just give prayers and may Allah give her strength to go forward with her life in confidence and to smile always in the journey within the oceans of heaven towards the unknown destiny.

For both of you, I wish you happiness always and may you both receive Rahmah from Allahsubhanahuwataalaa always.... Like I always say, occasion like this is a lovely memory that we shared and the happiness that comes with it is temporary and will become history until we reach our destiny. Love and Think of Allah always and you will be there. Insyallah.

Love you always

Never by : Joe Ismyl

Between Your Hands

I travel in the oceans of your eyes without knowing my destination. You held our hearts in between your hands and I asked you Ya Allah, do not leave this heart, What would it be without you. This heart will not reach the inevitable the impossible, the envision destiny. If you leave it empty without you in it.

At the moment of my lowest and you at the highest, take my heart, hold it close to yours, take it a little more and more closer for this heart will not withstand the might and the shower of your gifts. Bring this heart to a safe destination and soothe it from harm.

You that have created the miracle in me and all the miracles in our hearts please create just this one more miracle so that this heart shall stay a safe space in within you always so we would walk the isles of your love towards heaven.


Never by : Joe Ismyl

Here I am

Dear MJ

Here I am sitting infront of the house in Putrajaya, a rest area besides the car porch. The sitting area over looks the view of the area where I live, and you could see the blue sky, the neighbors house and ofcourse what ever comes with it. While running my thoughts and emailing everywhere as usual, the thoughts of you taunted my mind again. You know I love you MJ, and you used to tell me that you have never forgotten to 'doa' for all your children everyday. You want all of them to be successful people. Now you can rest assured that they are all on their own and successful in their own rights. Son or daughter it does not matter for you, you love them the same. even your inlaws. Good to have both. Your daughter can also help you with the cooking, or to cut your hair. You need them too...... Always remembered your advice, to work hard and that I must be strong. You said you always pray for the best for me, everyday. You gave me the prayer Mat and tasbih. Sorry that I did not bring the tasbih everywhere I go, but I still have you in my mind all the time. Your advice to make sure to Solat everyday, and do the Dhuha prayers, all of which advices, I am also giving those advices now to my children. I followed all your advices MJ, recite the Yassin and read the Quran every eve of Friday, and do the "Solat Hadjat"and recite all those beautiful verses. Now that my children almost all of them having their own life to follow on, I felt the same you did when you expressed your love through your advices and reminders. I do the same. The advices and thoughts about going for pilgrimage in Mecca for the Umrah or better still the Haj. Just save and spend you said, as it is worth the money. The returns from Allah is tremendous, double, or quadruple you said . How I wished I could go again to Mecca, with you if only you could. Insyallah with Allahs blessing you would see me going to Mecca.

I was following you everywhere before this from the others but since I know you were safe and back to normal, I started bringing you in my thoughts everywhere, in everything that I do always. This is how pure love is from person to person, the feelings right now, sincere and honest. I know MJ, though I have never realised I had these feelings, as I was complacent with things and selfish with my own life, I did not care until I realised how fragile you had become and hurt with everything that had happened with your family, losing your husband and afterwards on your own with all your energy, bringing love to all your children so that they are together.

I was hurt too MJ, only Allah knows. I have done everything that I could, just like you, giving all that I hve got, but maybe I was not as good as you. I cant bring my big family together and to foster good relations amongst my brother and sisters. I have given time and energy to ensure that what you had wanted becomes a reality and sacrifice my focus on my own carrier and family for your idealistic aspiration. My only wish and hope is that I have done everything possible as now I am on my own doing my own things without having to think too much about them anymore as they do not need them anymore from me. Ofcourse I think about you all the time.

I know MJ, like you said, Allah Subhanahuwaataalaa spared this feelings about love to you and always teaching me how to love him. It is his gesture that I felt this love as a gift from Allah The love we felt is a gesture from Allahsubhanahuwataala in teaching us how to bring Allah closer to us. Just remember Allah is closer than the beat of our hearts!! Syukur Alhamdulillah..... Allah spared us more knowledge with the experience of love so we could experience and visualize the ultimate!

Never by: Joe Ismyl